Holy. Fucking. Shit.
So my convertible has had some electrical problems, where I basically have to jump start it to get it going. Noelle and I were out front after having jumped it so I could take it over to the garage to get looked at. My Jetta is facing the Z and I'm getting ready to turn the car around to leave.
Coming down the street is a very large vehicle. Hmm, I think that looks like a hummer, I think. Painted like... a police car? With police lights... oh fuck. So the APC pulls up in front of the neighbors house, whom Noelle does not like a lot because they have loud parties, baby daddies show up and honk their horns instead of knocking on the front door, shit like that. She has teased me for ages that "we live in the ghetto." I now realize I am never going to hear the end of it. (I live in the suburbs, folks.)
About 15-20 guys in body armor carrying assault rifles pour out of the SWAT car and swarm over the front lawn of the neighbors house. I notice they appear to have a door ram. Must be a no knock warrant, I think. I hear "Open up" and then they started slamming the door open. An amplified voice comes out of the APC: "Attention <next door neighbor's address> we have a warrant, come out with your hands up!" It repeats.
I'm worried that someone might start shooting and right on cue there's a tremendous boom. I duck down for cover, not knowing WTF is going on. (I'm sitting in the Z, Noelle's in the Jetta, still.) When I look up I see smoke coming out of the house and I realize the cops threw a flash bang inside the house. There's another bang and smoke starts coming out the back. There are a couple of cops on either side of the house watching to make sure no escapes down the side yards.
At around this time I decide that it's a good time to go, so we left. Curiously, no one in the police stopped the guy in the convertible leaving the scene or even asked any questions of us. We got back about half an hour later and while there were still a bunch of cops around, it looked like the excitement had died down. That's really more excitement than I need in the morning, although I didn't need coffee after that.
Coming down the street is a very large vehicle. Hmm, I think that looks like a hummer, I think. Painted like... a police car? With police lights... oh fuck. So the APC pulls up in front of the neighbors house, whom Noelle does not like a lot because they have loud parties, baby daddies show up and honk their horns instead of knocking on the front door, shit like that. She has teased me for ages that "we live in the ghetto." I now realize I am never going to hear the end of it. (I live in the suburbs, folks.)
About 15-20 guys in body armor carrying assault rifles pour out of the SWAT car and swarm over the front lawn of the neighbors house. I notice they appear to have a door ram. Must be a no knock warrant, I think. I hear "Open up" and then they started slamming the door open. An amplified voice comes out of the APC: "Attention <next door neighbor's address> we have a warrant, come out with your hands up!" It repeats.
I'm worried that someone might start shooting and right on cue there's a tremendous boom. I duck down for cover, not knowing WTF is going on. (I'm sitting in the Z, Noelle's in the Jetta, still.) When I look up I see smoke coming out of the house and I realize the cops threw a flash bang inside the house. There's another bang and smoke starts coming out the back. There are a couple of cops on either side of the house watching to make sure no escapes down the side yards.
At around this time I decide that it's a good time to go, so we left. Curiously, no one in the police stopped the guy in the convertible leaving the scene or even asked any questions of us. We got back about half an hour later and while there were still a bunch of cops around, it looked like the excitement had died down. That's really more excitement than I need in the morning, although I didn't need coffee after that.
4 Comments:
.. so Ashton Kutcher didn't show up at the end of it all and tell you that you got punked?
He was not present when I left and they were vacuuming out the sewage line next door, no.
Dude.
I'd be on the phone with a real estate agent right now. The beer drinkin' Harley guys and their pickups and campers and boats and backyard parties until 3am were enough to get me to move out of San Jose.
If the SWAT team hit the house next door, there'd be no question.
Personally, I thought it was awesome! We don't need cable anymore, just some lawn chairs! Also, It succeeds in doing what I love most - proving that I was right, we do live in the ghetto. ;-)
Seriously, it gave me something to talk about all day, and now I know that I *can* really believe everything I see on TV!
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